


Naked or Not | MinSung AU

by sylphwolf



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Feels, Closeted Character, Developing Relationship, Drama, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Character, Heartbreak, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Rejection, Romance, Self-Discovery, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-01-04 11:30:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21196946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylphwolf/pseuds/sylphwolf
Summary: Lee Minho knows not to fall in love too easily, especially with straight guys, but sometimes the heart wants what it wants. And his heart ends up wanting Han Jisung. Although Jisung does not seem to reject him, Minho keeps wondering whether they are on the same boat. If yes, there would be nothing happier in life, but if no...To open up, to expose himself, to be naked or not, Minho needs to decide. Unbeknownst to him, he is not the only one who does.This is a story of exploration into one's self and the confusion, guilt, and nasty consequences that follow.





	1. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of everything. The lecture, the lunch, and the cafe.

Early August, the start of a new semester. Minho was seated at the back corner of the small-sized lecture theater, overlooking all his classmates. The class was almost full, understandably so considering it was the first session where most students would not dare to skip classes yet. The lecturer was running five minutes late and the class was growing noisier by the second. When the door suddenly flung open loudly, the class quietened in unison, only to find the figure standing by the door was not the expected lecturer.

Jisung, the brunette by the door, quickly said in visible relief, "Oh, the lecturer is not here yet!" He made his way to the very back of the room, scanned the vacant seats, and decided on the seat right beside Minho. He asked whether Minho minded having him there and Minho gestured an approval. 

"Yo I'm Han Jisung," he said as he sat down. 

"Oh, hi, I'm Minho."

Jisung was taking out a notebook and a slim pencil case from his bag when the lecturer stepped into the room. Minho had been ready with his own notebook open on the table, his fingers now fiddled with his pen. 

"I heard the professor is strict," Jisung whispered, leaning closer to his new acquaintance. "But the class is super fun! This is a foundation module for me. How about you? Wait, are you a freshman?"

Jisung realized he must have asked one question too many as Minho gave him a side eye. Not so subtle, furthermore. "Oops sorry, we can talk later after the class ends, I guess."

Jisung did keep his mouth shut for the following two hours. When the class ended, Minho seemed as uninterested in Jisung as before, packing his stuff swiftly without muttering any words, which made Jisung slightly disappointed. Hence, he was pleasantly surprised when Minho finally spoke to him.

"You wanna have lunch together?"

"Huh?" was the first response that escaped Jisung's mouth. "Uh, I mean, yeah, sure!"

Minho chuckled inaudibly. "I think I came across as mean earlier, but I swear I'm not. And you're a freshman, so let me treat you."

***

When Jisung found out Minho was taking him to the McDonald's within campus ground, he groaned. He complained saying this was too cheap of a treat, to which Minho responded with a crunchy laugh. 

"I have class after this, I can't travel too far," Minho said.

"Then I'll order as much food as possible." Jisung studied the menu board seriously, eyebrows furrowed. Minho stood by him, doing the same and readying his wallet. Jisung stole sideways glances and then quickly recognized how handsome the senior's side profile was. Even when he was staying silent, face devoid of any expression, he was ultimately handsome.

"Decided yet?" Minho asked, turning to Jisung and startling him.

Minho told Jisung to find a table and wait there while he placed orders for both of them. Jisung thanked him several times before walking around the fast food chain space and settling at a corner table. Minho joined him not long afterwards with the piece of receipt in his grasp. 

"So you're older than me right? What year?" Jisung attempted to confirm as soon as Minho sat down.

"Yes, I'm in Year 2 Engineering."

Jisung made an O shape with his mouth. "As for me, I'm a freshman in Business Admin."

"So that's why you need to take Accounting module..."

Their order number was called and thus their talk was interrupted. Jisung quickly walked to the counter, not giving Minho a chance to even shift his foot. He was thinking that since Minho had paid for the food, he should at least take the trouble to bring the food over. Jisung was gone no more than five minutes, but when he returned, he saw a familiar figure talking to Minho. Moreover, Minho was laughing. It was the first time Jisung saw him laugh that warmly, hence rewriting the impression he had had on him.

"Hyunjin?" Jisung called out to the fellow standing by their table.

The tall, lean figure turned to the voice and had a surprised look on his face. "Jisung? You're having lunch with Minho?" His tone hinted disbelief.

"We have a class together," answered Jisung as he placed the tray he was carrying on the table. Minho immediately reached for his fries, stuffing his mouth happily. "You two are friends?"

"Ah, Minho and I used to be in the same dance club."

"You should join the university's dance club as well," said Minho to Hyunjin, still munching on his fries. "We're gonna announce the audition dates soon."

Hyunjin's face lit up. "Is that so? Okay, I'm gonna keep a lookout!" Hyunjin excused himself shortly afterwards. He said bye to both of them, pat Jisung on the shoulder, and left. Because of that small weird gesture, Jisung made a mental note to text that batchmate of his later.

"So you dance! That's cool." Jisung initiated the conversation once again. 

"Oh, yes, I have been dancing for years. I first met Hyunjin a few years ago." Jisung listened attentively, nodding his head. "How about you? In any clubs?"

"No, no, not yet."

"You can try dancing as well!" Minho's eyes began to gleam. It was easy to conclude his passion for dancing.

Jisung almost choked on his food. Never in a million years he had imagined himself joining a dance club. "I don't think so..."

"Why, from what I can see you look quite fit," Minho said, his eyes gazing up and down Jisung's seated figure.

Jisung immediately denied the remark, waving his hand saying no. He was wearing an oversized tee, thus he knew for sure Minho could not see the outline of his body, yet he felt exposed with the way Minho was staring at him. After all, Minho could easily have been the most good-looking person Jisung knew in his whole life and currently, that person was sitting across him. To Jisung, Minho was looking... kind of... radiant.

Their conversation that followed revolved around their university and high school lives. Jisung learned that Minho was also a member of the students' union, the welfare division head even. Minho discovered that Jisung liked singing and suggested him going to audition for the acapella music club, in which Jisung took some interest. They connected on their love for cats, extensive movie knowledge, and surprising mutual interest in anime. Jisung then understood that Minho simply did not want to be bothered during class, but was highly affable otherwise. Minho was fond of adventures and subsequently had many tidbits to share. He recounted his days in the dance club with Hyunjin and accidentally slipped some embarrassing moments of the mutual friend. On the other hand, Jisung appeared as an adorable junior to Minho. He seemed to always have a hundred questions in mind and never stop talking. To top it off, he was naturally hilarious. Minho did not feel the need to reach out and fill in silent gaps because there was simply no silent gaps. Jisung made him feel comfortable, and vice versa. They ended up talking randomly for about two hours until Minho needed to get to his next class. 

"Hey! We should have lunch together again next week!" Jisung exclaimed.

Minho threw a sweet smile as he walked away. "Definitely."

***

The following week, Jisung came early to class and found Minho already doodling on his notebook at the same seat as previously. Jisung hopped over and startled him with a grip on Minho's shoulder. Minho protested loudly about the unnecessary scare but Jisung only responded with a playful grin.

"Is that from the coffee shop in front?" asked Jisung, referring to the plastic cup with a green logo on it placed on Minho's desk. "What is that?"

"Cheese matcha latte. Wanna try?" Minho slid the cup softly over to Jisung, who grabbed it without hesitation and promptly took a sip. Minho enjoyed the sight of Jisung tasting his drink and finding it delightful, obvious from the way his pupils dilated. Before Jisung said anything, Minho already told him to drink some more.

"I'd never thought cheese matcha latte would be this delicious!"

"Right? Right?" Minho eagerly chimed in. "That place has many interesting menus. You should check it out."

Jisung excitedly flailed his arms. "Can we go there after class?"

"Eh, I just went there-"

"My treat!"

"No, too much sugar in a day." Minho laughed as Jisung visibly sulked, pouting. "But I don't mind accompanying you later there."

Jisung turned his head towards Minho, his mood had also turned 180. With sparkly eyes he sung praises to 'his favorite senior ever whose heart is made of gold and whom he cherishes so much', which were received with Minho's cringed, pained expression. As soon as class ended, Jisung sprung to his feet and grabbed Minho's forearm to rush him. When they reached the coffee shop, called Bober Hop, the place was surrounded by several other people. The queue was not long, there were only two customers before Jisung. While waiting for Jisung's order, Jisung and Minho stood a distance away from the counter.

"What did you order?"

"Same as you, cheese matcha latte."

"Whoa, you've been smitten, haven't you."

"It's sooo good!!!" Jisung argued. "That reminds me, I have this cheesecake shop in mind I haven't gotten to visit."

"Cheesecake?" The word led Minho to one specific place in mind as well. "Is this the one downtown, near the park?"

Jisung's face brightened. Could they be thinking the same thing? "Yes! The place is also a-"

"Cat cafe!" Minho and Jisung blurted it out almost simultaneously. They were stunned for a second before bursting into laughter. Jisung was collecting his breath when his order was called. He approached the counter, Minho walking closely behind. "Anyway," Jisung continued as he held his drink. "I have been thinking of going there. Do you perhaps wanna come with?"

"...the two of us?" Minho reacted in surprise.

"...yes?" Jisung's facial expression seemed to wonder if there was anything wrong with what he had said.

The cat cafe slash cheesecake shop they were talking about was named On-Cat, and was very popular among cheesecake enthusiasts. Additionally, it was once featured as top first date ideas in a lifestyle magazine, leading to a significant boost of couples visiting the establishment. Two men coming into the shop would not be a daily sight. The thing was, Minho did not know whether Jisung knew about this. If not, it would make a lot more sense, that Jisung simply asked him because he knew Minho was fond of cats. But, if yes... Minho tried not to think about it. 

Minho would normally refuse similar invitations, but there was something about Jisung that was very fun, very addictive to be around. It should not hurt to try and hang out off campus with someone sometimes, Minho thought. He would just hang out as friends.

"Okay," Minho finally replied, sounding as indifferent as usual.

"Cool! Wait, let me get your phone number then, so we can discuss later on." Only then Minho recalled they had not exchanged phone numbers yet. Jisung gave him his phone and Minho proceeded to input his numbers. "Yay! I will text you later, okay?"

Jisung had somewhere else to be that day and Minho found himself slightly disappointed with that fact. When Jisung walked away, he waved energetically at him even after he was considerably far. Minho found the gesture adorable and could not help but chuckle. He was then looking forward to going to On-Cat with Jisung.

***

Minho and Jisung agreed on the next Saturday to visit On-Cat. Although they understood downtown was going to be undoubtedly jam-packed, they decided to go ahead. That was why they met up quite early in the morning, hoping to beat majority of the oncoming crowd.

Earlier on, Minho had dressed up while continuously asking himself whether this was casual. This hangout with Jisung, could he be sure that there was no implicit meaning? He had been scratching his head about what to wear for an hour, which was a personal record-breaker. He had not wanted to appear too earnest yet he had also been afraid of being under-dressed. His final decision had been a pair of straight jeans, a plain white tee, and a slightly over-sized striped blue t-shirt, which he had deemed as a nice balance between stylish and cozy. On the way to their appointed meet-up place, his head had been full of swirling thoughts - why was he even thinking so much about it? Why was there a part of him hopeful for something more?

Those thoughts continued and spiraled even after he had reached the meeting point. He was now standing near the station exit, blank look on his face. Not long afterwards, Jisung came running to him with a big grin plastered on his face. He was wearing a white cap and a gray top. One look and Minho could tell that he had not put any effort into his outfit, meaning this might not mean a date after all. Minho felt his stomach churned, somewhat, and he found the sensation ghastly. He had always known not to jump to conclusions, not to get ahead of himself, not to develop feelings too fast... However, when Jisung approached him and invited him for a high five, smiling brightly, Minho knew he was already one foot in.

"Yo," Minho muttered as he went for the high five.

"Whoa, you look much cooler today," Jisung remarked. It was an innocent and sincere comment that resulted from Jisung's habit of conveying anything he had in mind, but it did well to improve Minho's mood. He felt as if his conscious effort had been rewarded and thus could not resist a smile.

They made their way to the shop, situated on the second floor of the building nearby. The stairway was not large enough for the both of them, so they had to climb up one after another. They reached the front door of the shop, made of glass, allowing them to peek inside. A staff member opened the door and welcomed them. She went on to explain the rules of the cat cafe, which were the things both Minho and Jisung were fully familiar with due to their previous exposure to feline companions.

After ordering two sets of cheesecake, Minho and Jisung moved to a window-side table. There were a dozen cats surrounding them, and merely three other patrons. Minho quickly sat on the floor and pat the orange tabby within his arm's reach. The tabby snuggled against Minho's palm and gradually came closer to him. Jisung grabbed a feather wand toy from the shelf at the other side of the room and returned waving the toy. By then, the tabby was already comfortable settled on Minho's lap.

"Wow she's so taken with you already!" Jisung chirped as he sat down. He started waving the toy around and watched as one black cat quietly neared, prepared to pounce forward. "They're all so adorable," he muttered softly. 

The waitress came by to serve them their cheesecakes. Jisung yelped, unable to contain his excitement. He took a mouthful, savored the way the cake melted and enveloped his taste buds, and made approving murmurs. 

"Hey I can't move from here!" Minho complained. The tabby on his lap showed no signs of leaving soon and the sound of Jisung eating heartily made him salivate even more. "Ahh I want some too," he whined.

Jisung giddily shook his head, still indulging in the cheesecake he had been craving for quite some time. His body swayed side to side, expressing ultimate happiness, as he gobbled another mouthful. Minho watched him dance in frenzy for another five seconds until he unexpectedly reached for Minho's plate. Jisung crouched down in front of Minho, ready with the spoon on one hand to feed to him. Minho was stunned. This was not a behaviour he was used to. He was unsure of how to react. Yet Jisung was there, signaling for him to open his mouth, and Minho felt compelled to obey. He had reservations and his gaze darted everywhere, fearful of bystanders' perception. Luckily, no one was practically around to see them. The other patrons were at the play area and all staff members were either at the kitchen or at the cashier, away from where they were at. 

Albeit a bit reluctant, Minho ultimately opened his mouth. Jisung promptly fed him and grinned at him afterwards. "How, how?" he asked, oblivious to Minho's increasing heart rate. Minho almost could not taste properly due to mixed emotions, but he managed to give a nod. Jisung threw his fist into the air, expressing his sense of victory, and went back to his seat to enjoy the rest of his cheesecake slice.

The tabby on Minho's lap got up. The cat's black eyes looked into his, as if probing deep. Minho knew it was nonsensical, but he could swear the cat was talking to him. Stop it, he could hear. The cat was telling him to stop whatever he was feeling before it became too late. Better swallow it whole while you still can, the voice was soft yet stern, stabbing Minho at all the right places. 

"I know," Minho whispered to himself. At that point of time, he was assured that Jisung did not regard this outing as a date and that he had zero interest in Minho as anything other than friends. His behaviour just now? He might just do that to everyone. Minho had struggled with similar predicament before, allowing him to identify the current one early. Yet, although Minho might have gotten the theory down, oftentimes desire defies logic. 

"Hey, I need to go to bathroom for a while." Jisung snapped Minho out of his self pondering. Minho watched his back as he made bouncy steps to the corridor leading to the restrooms. Now that the tabby was up and about, Minho was able to move to his seat. He had another spoonful of cheesecake, and this time he could appreciate the taste better. It was rich, creamy, and not overly sweet, which translated to perfect to Minho. He was very much off in his own world that he did not realize when Jisung returned to his seat.

Jisung's eyes landed on Minho's plate and he protested, "You're finishing without waiting for me?!"

"You also didn't wait for me when you started," Minho retorted back.

"But I fed you! Wasn't I being sweet?!"

"It was supposed to be sweet?" Minho said in a deriding, yet obviously joking tone. Jisung expressed his disapproval by smacking Minho's arm.

"Where's the cat you were coddling, anyway?"

"She escaped to one of the houses, I think." Minho pointed to the lineup of cat houses across the room with a turn of his head. In that area there was a persian cat in the middle of self-grooming and another persian laying down, eyes half-closed.

"Are your cats cuddly with you?" Jisung asked. Minho had told him about his three pet cats previously, albeit nothing specific. His question now urged Minho to start a lengthy tale of his journey as a cat papa, to which Jisung listened surprisingly keenly while finishing his cake. Minho was showing off Soonie, Doongie, and Dori's photos on his phone to Jisung when he noticed that the freshman had his own unique way of eating. His chubby cheeks puffed up while chewing and his clear eyes looked at him innocently. The whole picture reminded him of a squirrel, and it made him feel soft inside.

Without them realizing, it was already past lunchtime. They were not particularly feeling hungry, but the shop had become considerably packed so they decided it was time to leave. 

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you this..." Jisung suddenly began while they were getting ready to leave, alarming Minho.

"Y-yes?"

"I think I'm going to audition for the music club."

Minho felt relief and defeat concurrently hearing that. He did not even know what he was truly expecting. "That's great! Have you prepared a song?"

Jisung tapped his fingers nervously on the table. "Uh, yes, um, Instagram." He looked weirdly timid, contrary to how he had been behaving. Minho reassured that it was a great choice and asked if he could sing one verse. Jisung's eyes widened in horror. "Here?"

"You can just sing softly," Minho said. "But if you're uncomfortable, there is no need for you to do it. I just wanna hear you sing." A cafe full of people was indeed not an ideal place to have a friend sing for you, but Minho was genuinely curious.

Jisung bit his lower lip for a second, seemingly contemplating. He finally okayed Minho's suggestion, leaned closer to his ear and began to sing. Then, the world seemed to stop. Minho had never imagined that Jisung's voice would amaze him so. It was clear like the sky hanging above a vast green meadow, and soothing like the moonlight enveloping nighttime. Pleasantly surprised, Minho sat motionless, keeping quiet while Jisung's tunes continued to captivate him. As soft as Jisung tried to keep his voice, several customers were still able to notice and also relish his performance. At the end of his one verse, Jisung found the enchanted Minho, eyes glowing an entirely different colour, and the positive buzz surrounding them. 

Not knowing what to do, Jisung touched Minho's arm and called his name. 

"That was amazing!" Minho eventually managed to exclaim. "I'm sure you'll get in. Wow, you're really great. You have a really nice voice." He kept throwing compliments at Jisung, who quickly became bashful as a result.

As they trod to the front door, Minho looked around the shop one last time, confirming that there really was no other pair of two men patronizing. He had forgotten about his own fear for a while thanks to Jisung being bubbly and keeping him entertained, but now it was creeping back. 

"Let's go," Jisung said to Minho, realizing that the guy was momentarily stunned near the exit.

"Eh, we haven't paid." Bewildered, Minho instinctively grabbed Jisung's hand to prevent him from leaving. Who would want to be chased down the street because they forgot to pay for food?

Jisung was unfazed, which added to Minho's confusion. "Ah, it's okay, it's okay, paid already." He kept walking, dragging Minho closely behind.

"Wait, you paid for me?" 

Jisung responded with a sing-song hum.

"Serious?" Minho asked again.

His apparent disbelief induced Jisung's laugh. They were reaching the bottom of the stairs, Minho's hand had stayed on Jisung's arm. Jisung turned his body around, now facing him, and said with glaring satisfaction, "Yes, I was the one who asked you to come, anyway."

He looked dazzling. He was beaming. The feelings Minho tried to nip in the bud grew significantly in a matter of seconds, right there and then. They had become impossible to ignore, or suppress, or kill. The only choice for Minho was to embrace them, and most likely, keep them hidden. 

Minho managed not to let the internal turmoil he was having show. He put on a soft smile and told Jisung that the next time they hang out, he would be the one to pay instead. Jisung accepted the deal and went on throwing ideas of what they should do the next time, but Minho's concentration was already halved. They walked together to the train station and parted ways there. Minho could barely remember how he said goodbye, or if he even did. He boarded the train home and throughout the commute, he listened to both what his brain and heart had to say.

Knowing that he could not stop the feelings anyway, Minho had decided to accept the fact that he had a crush on Jisung. It was just a simple crush, so it should not be that hard to live with, he had reasoned. Whether today had been a date or not remained a mystery which even Minho himself had not wished to solve. There had been one or two signs that it was, but even more signs that it was not... Statistically, it would be more likely that it was not a date, and Minho tended to believe in numbers, probably influenced by his engineering education.

Minho had had his heart broken once, prior. He could still remember that scary sensation, being vulnerable and exposed, which he had come to hate afterwards. He had always thought he had built up tough guards, yet Jisung had proven otherwise. Perhaps his guards had not been sufficiently tough, or perhaps Jisung had been a special case.

You know how in fairy tales, sometimes people simply end up with each other?

And they cannot exactly explain why they love the other tremendously, yet still bleed to stay together forever?

Minho had never bought into these kinds of love stories, understanding that reality does not work that way. Nevertheless, like other human beings, there might lurk a tiny hope for that fantasy-like happiness within Minho. And that tiny hope would be the driving force for Minho to keep being by Jisung's side.

_(To be continued.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever kpop idols fanfiction!! I was really overcoming a hurdle to finally write this. I'm currently planning for a total of 5 chapters, which I aim to update weekly... in ideal case... or biweekly when I'm more swamped at work. If you're reading until here, I'd like to thank you so so much. I hope you will enjoy this story <3


	2. Diving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho was no longer falling. He was now diving. Deep.

It was the seventh week of the semester, meaning it was recess slash mid-term examination week. The library had been a classic, popular choice for students to cram, including Jisung and Minho. After having quickly found out how compatible they were, they had been spending quite some time together, mostly after classes, where they would have lunch together and begin chitchatting for hours. Minho would need to rush to his next class, so Jisung would normally follow up in the evening via text and they would continue their random discourse well into the night. Not to mention, they would hang out off-campus occasionally, or meet on-campus when there was a need to, like today's study session. They had agreed to revise Accounting together and Minho had secured a table in the study area for them. Jisung had never gone to the library past the information counter before, so he had struggled a bit finding Minho.

Minho had a serious look on his face, eyes scanning the A4 papers spread in front of him. Jisung approached him, pouting. "It was really hard to spot you."

Minho looked up and smirked. "Your eyes are bad even though you have your glasses on today?"

"You should have stood out more," Jisung kept on complaining as he took the seat beside Minho which had been reserved for him.

"What could I have done?"

"Put up a banner saying 'Jisung I'm waiting for you here'."

Minho jeered. "No way."

"I'm serious! That's the least you could have done for me. Aren't I your favorite junior?" Jisung lowered his head, almost level to the table surface, peeking at Minho's face who was looking down.

Feeling Jisung's gaze on him, Minho could not help but chuckle. He turned towards Jisung who was then grinning ear to ear and ruffled his hair. "Yes, yes, my favorite junior. Now go study."

Minho had said that with a smile and sparkly eyes. Perhaps Jisung had always had a hidden soft spot for handsome guys, which only lately he had been conscious of. Oftentimes when they hung out, he could locate girls sneaking glances at Minho, although the person himself never noticed. His beauty was undebatable and sometimes put even Jisung in awe. Jisung proceeded to prepare his own stuff - a laptop, a foolscap book, a pencil and an eraser. They went on to study in silence. Jisung understood that Minho disliked being disturbed when he was concentrating, so he pressured himself to study effectively too. When he was doubtful about anything, he would poke Minho slightly in the arm to get his attention, then ask his question without beating around the bush. 

After approximately two hours, Jisung pushed his laptop aside to make more space for his face to lay on, right cheek flat on the table and eyes at Minho's direction. No longer able to contain his boredom, he whispered calling for Minho's name. Once, Minho did not budge. Twice, Minho still did not budge. Thrice, Minho finally snorted and pinched Jisung's cheek. "What?" He asked impatiently.

"I'm bored," Jisung managed to speak even with one cheek pressed against the table and another pulled mercilessly.

"Did you even study properly?"

"I did! I'm almost done."

Minho glanced over at Jisung's laptop screen. Indeed, it displayed the latest lecture notes, indicating that Jisung had finished going through the major substances of the module. It might have come off as surprising to Minho because Jisung had always acted like he never listened to the lecturer. "Wow, and I thought you're stupid."

"Hey!" Jisung kicked Minho's chair leg as a form of protest. Minho giggled and kicked Jisung's chair leg back. "I think I study well, but I tend to get bored easily," Jisung elaborated.

"Ah, I can see that," Minho concurred, which led Jisung to raise an eyebrow. "You don't think I've never caught you looking at me intensely during class, like you want to say something badly? That is very distracting."

Jisung genuinely thought he had been stealthy and now he was struck dumb. He started feeling embarrassed imagining that Minho had ignored him time and time again and he was at loss of how to react. 

Concerned with Jisung's long lull, Minho inspected Jisung's face closer, trying to read his facial expression better. "Jisung?"

Jisung inhaled deeply. "Uh, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to inconvenience you."

Minho choked, not having expected that kind of timid reaction. "I'm never inconvenienced," he countered. "I'm just teasing you! Didn't I say you're my favorite junior?"

This response delighted Jisung, whose own smile slowly returned. He lifted up his head and put one hand behind the neck, still facing Minho. He realized that Minho had pampered him quite a lot and that he liked it. He felt an indescribable sense of joy around Minho, which was one of the reasons he kept mingling with him. Jisung had secretly conferred Minho as his favorite senior, hence his persistence of asking to be Minho's favorite junior. Granted, Jisung had no plan to ever reveal the fact with the person involved. He would continue to pursue the title, in spite that Minho seemed to have given it out mindlessly. 

"Which part are you at now? Are you a slow reader?" Jisung dragged his chair nearer to Minho, their shoulders now touching. He unthinkingly leaned his head onto Minho's shoulder, resting his chin on Minho's sleeve, as he found the comfort too tempting to miss out on. 

"I actually finished some time ago. I'm revising for another module now."

Jisung then realized the pages Minho was reading contained typical engineering drawings. The blocks and lines and numbers. "Why don't we just go eat something?"

"Go eat by yourself," said Minho. Although his words sounded callous, Jisung knew him well enough to detect the tenderness behind them. "I wanna finish this one too."

"How long? I will wait."

Minho tilted his head sideways and locked his gaze with Jisung's. The freshman had such a pure gleam in his eyes, pleading for his cause. After a short sigh, Minho said, "If you stay quiet, thirty minutes tops."

Jisung squealed, satisfied that Minho gave in fairly easily. Yet another instance where Minho was pampering him. He pushed his chair back to its original position, giving Minho more space. He then covered his mouth with one hand and put his thumb up with the other, signaling that he was ready to shut up. Watching this, Minho quietly laughed. His amusement impressed Jisung accordingly, causing his smile to grow wider. Ah, Minho was really a fun person. His reactions to Jisung's shenanigans alone were sort of entertaining. This person really has endless charms, Jisung wordlessly admitted.

***

The Business faculty canteen was relatively vacant well past lunch hour. Jisung was sitting by himself, scrolling and typing on his phone. He had just finished a quiz worth 30% of his final grade in Business Law which had given him a major headache, hence the need to unwind peacefully. He had been lounging there for about fifteen minutes when Hyunjin suddenly showed up. The strawberry blonde noticed Jisung, seemingly zoning out, and came over eagerly. He slammed the table in an attempt to take Jisung by surprise, but the poor guy's soul had mostly left his body anyway thanks to the preceding quiz, so he was completely unperturbed.

"What are you doing here?" Jisung asked as Hyunjin seated himself across him.

"Killing time," said Hyunjin. "I have another test later on."

Jisung mustered a weak smile and lifted his fist for Hyunjin to bump, which Hyunjin did with a similarly weak laughter. Dwelling in academic anxiety and sharing emotional distress caused by the struggles? Honestly, something a university student would experience at least once in their course of study. Hyunjin and Jisung just happened to get the taste of it very early.

"Anyway, I see you have been hanging out a lot with Minho." Hyunjin was able to point this out because he had been finding numerous photos of them on Jisung's instagram stories. "Are you two best buddies now?"

"Best buddies?" Jisung did not immediately answer. He had never had to label his friendships before. "Maybe?"

Hyunjin blinked fast several times, recollecting his composure. He had been unsure whether to share his piece of mind with his high school buddy. "What do you think of him, though?"

Jisung livened up. Not significantly, but enough for Hyunjin to catch. "He's a good person. He can appear cold and distant, but he is actually very caring." Jisung finally noticed the restlessness reflected in Hyunjin's eyes and asked, "What's up?"

"I know this is a rude question but considering we've been friends for years..." Hyunjin trailed off, coughed once, then continued. "Do you swing that way?"

Jisung needed one second to process Hyunjin's question, which confused him greatly. "No, you know I'm straight, what is this about?"

"Oh, then you might want to reconsider how close you are with Minho." Jisung's brows furrowed hearing this. It was not like he had absolutely no idea where the conversation was going but he found himself totally baffled. "This is something we know, although we never dare to confirm the person himself... Minho is gay," Hyunjin said, putting forth his ongoing concern. 

"O...kay?" was Jisung's first response. He was trying to think back and recall instances, or hints, that would support Hyunjin's statement. Had there been something that Minho had said or done that suggested his sexuality?

Hyunjin sighed. "Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm just telling you this because I care about you two, ugh, this has literally been on my mind!" Squeezing his fists mid air to express his frustration, he let out another sigh. 

"I know, I know," Jisung reassured his friend. He had known of Hyunjin's delicate heart better than most, allowing him to understand that Hyunjin meant no harm telling him all this. "But I'm curious now, how did you find out?"

There remained a fraction of hesitation in Hyunjin to spill everything he knew. He felt like he was disgracing Minho, which was never what he wanted, but he understood Jisung would not accept his bold statement without further inquiries. "Some members of our dance club saw him on a date. Holding hands and all. Well, they didn't tail him for long, but long enough to confirm it was him..."

Jisung nodded along. Hyunjin would never lie to him, so the thought of doubting Hyunjin did not cross his mind. He took in Hyunjin's words and brooded. He was not upset. He was feeling something deeper-seated. 

"You okay? You're not gonna treat Minho any differently, right?"

"No, no, I will never," Jisung replied instantly. No, the fact that Minho might be gay would not change anything between Minho and him. Whatever Minho's sexual preference was, it would not affect how Jisung thought of, felt, nor acted around him. It did not matter at all. It should not. At the same time, he understood where Hyunjin was coming from.

Hyunjin realized Jisung was deep in thoughts, thus he let him have the needed space. "I'm going on ahead. Text me if there's anything, okay?" Hyunjin pat Jisung on the shoulder before leaving, reminding the brunette about his same pat the first time Jisung met Minho, which Jisung had conveniently forgotten. Now Jisung knew what the pat from back then had implied. He gave Hyunjin an OK sign, permitting him to leave the premise without too much worry. 

Soon after, Jisung's phone chimed, notifying him of a new text message. It was from Minho. Jisung could only sneer at the coincidence, then tapped on the bubble on the screen to read the message. Minho wanted to confirm if they were going to the movies on Sunday. Halloween was nearing and they were on the topic of horror movies when Jisung mentioned one he had been looking forward to, to which Minho proposed that they watch together. Jisung immediately replied him a yes, almost reflexively. Everything Hyunjin had told him held no weight at his decision just now. He was resolute. He simply wanted to keep having fun with Minho. After all, Minho was his favorite senior.

***

The cinema Minho and Jisung were going to was located at the topmost level of a neighbourhood shopping mall, which they had chosen in hopes of lesser crowd. Minho arrived earlier as usual. After having accepted his own feelings for Jisung, he had decided to always dress the best he possibly could, consequently reducing the time wasted putting together an outfit. This time around, Minho was donning a thick, teal sweater, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of black shoes. There was fifteen minutes till their appointed time so Minho decided to buy the movie tickets without waiting for Jisung. While queuing, he looked around the cinema lobby and found mostly couples, female and male. There were not any children around although the mall stood in the middle of residential blocks, understandably because there was currently no family-friendly movie showing.

Minho had just finished buying the tickets when Jisung texted him, telling him that he had arrived. He promptly headed to the ground level to meet Jisung near the mall's main entrance. Jisung spotted him when he was nearing, waved, and approached running as well. Jisung looked slightly weary, and not as chirpy as usual. This did not escape Minho's keen observation so he asked whether Jisung was fine.

"Uh, yeah I just haven't had enough sleep," Jisung said. But there was something in his tone that Minho found hard to believe.

"You wanna get some hot drink? It'll warm you up." Given how familiar the two of them had gotten, it was reasonable that Minho would have an expectation of Jisung's response. He would have normally agreed, probably grumbled softly, but then let himself be pampered. Today, although he did the first two, he maintained a short distance away from Minho. Noticing this, Minho got distracted. Was Jisung extremely unwell? Why was he behaving kind of weird? "Do you still wanna hang out and not, you know, rest at home?" 

Jisung was looking at Minho, as if unsure of what to reply. "I-I'm fine," Jisung stuttered. His smile looked terribly forced and unnatural.

In truth, Minho was bothered by Jisung's seemingly cold attitude. It served like a reminder that even though Minho had considered the world out of Jisung, Jisung might not have shared the sentiment. However, Minho was an expert in hiding his true emotions in front of Jisung. He had endured various heart-fluttering moments, winning against his inner desires. This current situation? It ultimately put Minho in his place, hurting him a bit, but he at least saw this coming and was fully prepared.

They went into the nearest Starbucks and Minho firmly told Jisung to take a seat. Minho felt Jisung's eyes on him, as if hesitant, following his figure for a while before turning around to find seats. Minho paid no heed about it and went on to order the drinks. Minutes later, he carried a hot chocolate and an iced americano, one in each hand, to the table Jisung had secured for them. Not to his surprise, Jisung had chosen a corner table away from the sight of outside crowd. He was leaning to the wooden-paneled walls when Minho arrived there. 

"Are you really okay?" Minho persisted with his question. He would not want Jisung to force himself to meet him, then end up over-exhausted. "We can see the movie some other time if you're not," Minho continued, withholding the fact that he had bought the tickets. Jisung smiled faintly, but did not say a word. "You look really out of it, you know," Minho added while gently shaking his iced americano cup, the ice cubes inside rattling.

"You can tell?"

Minho felt further attacked by Jisung's doubt. Was he the only one who thought they had spent considerable amount of time together? Who was the other guy who had been texting with him, was he not Jisung? Or was the person here not Jisung? "Why can't I?" Minho said, almost grunted. He had thought they had become close enough to know certain preferences and habits of the other party.

Jisung seemed taken aback. He remained silent but his face colour gradually brightened. As if the final piece finally fit into the puzzle. "Thank you," he finally said, smiling. It was his usual smile, radiant and sincere, which never failed to bewitch Minho. "I'm really fine. I do wanna watch the movie with you today."

Minho breathed in relief and acknowledged Jisung's thank you, for whatever he had intended it for, with a small nod. From then onward, Jisung's earlier tension was disseminated, and so was Minho's worry. He bounced back to being his unleashed, cheerful self. He enthusiastically shared about his mid-term tests and his extracurricular activities among other things. The way he expressed his happiness and gripes was blunt, straightforward, and dynamic. Listening to him was pleasant and Minho had learnt to enjoy it so. He would oftentimes throw mean comments, which Jisung would respond with a cry, which Minho would then enjoy tenfold. They became completely engrossed in their conversation to the point that they almost forgot they had a movie to catch.

After moderately rushing to the cinema and not buying any snacks, a decision which Jisung came to regret, Minho and Jisung had succeeded not missing out more than the first ten minutes of the movie. They were seated at the third row from the back, which both agreed to be perfectly good seats. The movie theater was approximately three-fourth full, so whenever something scary popped up on screen the screams were deafening. Jisung definitely contributed to those screams. He kept covering his eyes with his hands, then peeking out, getting scared, and covering his eyes again. He kept clinging to Minho, seeking a refuge, but Minho was also scared stiff, unable to offer any consolation. The two pitiful guys had had their arms locked together during most of the movie. When it ended and the credits rolled, their faces remained pale. Jisung was huddled on his seat, his feet pulled close to the body, one arm linked with Minho's and another hugging his knees. His widened pupils revealed the sheer terror he had undergone. Minho was not much better. He was in a sitting position, eyes blinking fast and breathing ragged. 

"I don't wanna watch another horror movie with you," Minho declared. "Every time you screamed and pulled my arm, you gave me an extra scare."

"Like you didn't scream your lungs out too," Jisung scoffed. "Wait, wait, wait," he panicked as he saw Minho standing up ready to leave him behind. 

"Should we go get some early dinner before heading home?" Minho extended his hand to help Jisung get up. "Anything you wanna eat?"

"Pizza! Let's have pizza!" Jisung yelled. He grabbed Minho's hand and jumped up, seemingly having forgotten all the scary stuff earlier. His mind had been completely refocused to food, switched up ever so swiftly. Minho believed this was Jisung's way of optimism, constantly looking ahead, which was a trait he had appreciated in him. 

Their dinner was uneventful and peaceful, especially after such an impressive horror movie. Minho was regaining his composure and starting to recall what had transpired in the movie theater. He had been shaken like a leaf throughout, so he had not paid too much attention to his surrounding. Now that he had calmed down, he started to feel abashed. During the movie, Jisung had brought his body closer to his own. He had practically embraced him for at least one whole hour. The embrace had been tight and forceful, nothing sort of affectionate, but the memory of it caused Minho to blush. He had dreamt of prolonged close contact with Jisung aplenty. He could not exactly count how many times Jisung had regularly casually placed his arm around Minho's shoulder, causing Minho's heart to skip a beat, but then he would let go and Minho would feel a vivid disappointment. Undeniably, Minho had expected Jisung to hug him when scared, and it had been partially the reason Minho had wanted to watch a horror movie together with him. Still, due to his own extreme fright, he failed to fully register when one of his dreams had been coming true.

Imagining the proximity at which their bodies had pressed against each other made Minho flustered. He instinctively looked down so Jisung, who was in front of him, could not see how red his face was becoming. His blood felt like boiling. His head dizzy. How could a simple thought of Jisung cause him such misery? When Minho looked up, there Jisung was, busy chewing on his last piece of mozzarella stick. His prominently clear eyes seemed like they contained the constellations, and he looked exceptionally adorable.

Remember when Minho told himself he could live bearing a simple crush? Jisung had progressed, no longer a simple crush, hence his presence had been more overwhelming for Minho. It had been a significant achievement how Minho had handled himself around Jisung so far.

"Jisung, I-" The words seemed to form on their own, stunning the owner of the mouth himself.

"Yes?" Jisung had turned his whole attention to Minho, who started sweating.

It was not like Minho had never considered coming out. However, every time he did, his fear quickly overpowered his desire to be honest. Fear of rejection, judgment, and generally negative reactions from those he planned to tell, who were primarily those he loved first and foremost. He had spent significant amount of time mulling over whether he should come out, and if yes, how. Perhaps, the key to actually come out was to stop the contemplation and just wing it.

Was this truly happening? Minho, whose body was burning hot seconds ago, was now frozen cold. Jisung's eyes were on him. It was his usual honey-like gaze; the one Minho could catch when Jisung got bored but did not dare to bother Minho, the one he had while laughing at Minho's jokes, the one he had all day long without any special motive whatsoever. I need to stop kidding myself, Minho cursed inwardly.

"Um, do you like me?" Minho realized how stupid that question was as soon as he voiced it out. "I mean, I know you like me but... do you like me in that way or what way...?" Not less stupid, but what was done was done.

Jisung's eyebrows were knitted and his mouth was slightly ajar. Either he was thinking because he did not comprehend what Minho was asking or he was pretending not to comprehend. By this time, Minho sensed that there was no turning back.

"I'm trying to tell you that I like men. And I... may... like you." Minho's body temperature was decreasing, his nerves were growing in intensity, and his chest felt like tightening. This was the moment Minho had dreaded since forever ago. He had never thought his first coming out would be to a crush, and not to his parents. Yet, Minho felt like it was right. At any rate, telling the complete truth to Jisung felt like the right thing to do. At least, Minho was sure Jisung would not alienate him because he was gay nor spread the information to others. He realized just how much he had come to trust Jisung, and how easy it had been for Jisung to break through his walls. Was that a blessing or a curse?

Minho had vowed to himself to keep these feelings hidden but things had changed. The way Jisung had treated him earlier that day, albeit briefly, made Minho understand how important of an existence Jisung had become for Minho. And afterwards, Jisung had presented him with a hug. Minho had been anguished one moment, then ecstatic the next. Not the first occurrence, but possibly the worst. Minho knew he was falling deeper and deeper. He was diving head first. While his confession might have been impulsive, he noted that this could be a quick way for him to stop diving further. He braced himself for the following words from Jisung.

"Oh... I-I'm sorry, Minho, but I like women, so..."

Minho was really not expecting any other answer, but hearing it was inevitably painful. If it is this painful now, imagine how much more painful it can get the more these feelings drag on, Minho reminded himself. He could not bring himself to look at Jisung subsequently. The way he smiled and behaved from then on must have been clumsy. The tension lingered. Fortunately they had finished their meals, so Minho was able to excuse himself. Jisung was seemingly aware how much the incident had affected him, and did not attempt to stop him from leaving. 

Minho eventually reached home, went straight to his room and threw his body onto the bed. His tears were welling up on the corners of his eyes. His body was trembling, heart shattered. He gasped for air as he felt even his trachea ceased functioning. He thought he was fully prepared.

However, no matter how well the prior preparation, it never abates a heartbreak.

Minho knew his feelings would most definitely be one-sided. Hence, rather than waiting for Jisung to get himself a girlfriend, like what had happened with his previous crush, it was probably better this way. He sniffled. While he truly believed it was favourable he purposely got himself broken-hearted, he started feeling regret. What would happen hereafter? Jisung might not want to associate with him anymore and that would be understandable, but that would also extremely upset Minho. Maybe I should have thought more of the consequences, he reflected. 

No, no, this is for the best, he argued. It was nice while it lasted.

His tears continued flowing but Minho was feeling empty. His thoughts were in fragments, incoherent and chaotic. It was like everything he had kept bottled up till now was spilling all over. Too fast, too violent for Minho's brain to register. Minho ultimately drifted off to sleep, worn out, tear stains on his cheeks. Whatever tomorrow might bring, Minho did not wish to know just yet.

_(To be continued.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is finally here! Another 4k+ words. I'm proud of myself for achieving this much.  
That said, my work is piling up faster than before so I may take a break before writing Chapter 3.
> 
> I'm planning for a sweet, probably lil bit steamy Chapter 3, so if you've liked the story so far please look forward to it!! Thanks again for reading <3


	3. Floating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has happiness finally come?

Roughly two weeks had passed since the dreadful confession. Minho had wanted to act like nothing had happened, yet Jisung had not come to Accounting class. It had made Minho relieved, freed from the burden of concealing his emotions, but it had also sent him into a frenzy. They had stopped texting, understandably because Minho had not tried to send another message after their last hang out. Jisung had not reached out to him. Minho had been pretty sure Jisung had had no idea how to behave, which would have been perfectly sensible. 

Today, Minho was sitting quietly at his usual spot, head down, unsure of what to pray for. Would it be better if Jisung showed up? Or not? His heart had not been totally tamed and he had believed it would never be. His feelings for Jisung were never fickle. His feelings were true, earnest, and genuine. Shutting them off had been an impossible challenge which Minho had vowed to tackle head-on anyway. Would Jisung not showing up help his healing process, then?

Noises came from the seat beside Minho. He almost did not dare to peek, but he knew it was Jisung. There would be no random person suddenly deciding to sit beside a stranger in the second half of the semester, so it must be Jisung. 

"Good morning."

Ah, that familiar voice.

"Morning." Minho's reply was short and hasty, he was not even looking at Jisung's direction. He could not bear to. His face might manage to look smug but his heart was beating crazily. 

The lecture started soon afterwards and they did not exchange another word. Although they were sitting side by side, there were no more shared laughter, side glances, or friendly elbow jabs. Minho attempted his best to focus solely on the lecture, but Jisung's presence was too huge. Knowing he was there, in the flesh, centimeters away from him had thrown off his balance. Minho did not like it. Today's class might be the first one he failed to concentrate in, tainting his personal track record.

As soon as the class was dismissed, Minho urgently left his seat. He did not even plan to bid goodbye to Jisung. Much to his surprise, Jisung was the one who started the conversation.

"Minho," he called in a tiny voice. "Congrats for your good midterm score." His voice was unfaltering, and it kind of irked Minho.

"Ah, thanks." What nonsense was this guy saying? Their midterm scores had indeed been made available since a few days ago, but was that really the first thing you would say to someone who had confessed to you?

"So I was wondering if we should celebrate together. The end of midterms, I mean," Jisung continued. "We can go drink at your house, probably. Since we talked about it."

Talked about it. Yes, they once talked about it after finding out Minho lived by himself, but it was long before the confession. Seriously, what nonsense was this guy saying? Minho could not believe his ears. After the suffocating air they had to put up with for the past two hours, Jisung casually went on to spout some absurd suggestions. Did he even consider his words properly? Did he know what it could possibly mean to visit the house of the man who obviously had a crush on him?

"...are you aware of what you're saying?"

Jisung did not answer. He was looking away from Minho's gaze. The tip of his ears were noticeably reddening, but Minho consciously brushed the fact off. He deemed self-interpreting risky and futile. Moreover, he was too afraid of the worst possible answers. Of the truth.

"Do as you like," Minho eventually said. His tone was flat, not betraying his real state of emotions. Without waiting for Jisung's response, he turned around, hopping up the stairs leading to the exit doors.

"I-I'll come tomorrow!" Jisung shouted. Minho continued walking away, seemingly ignoring him. "I'll text you!"

***

Jisung had spent a long time deliberating. It had been an agonizing process. Confronting his own inner feelings and thoughts, it had been hard. Jisung had never expected this turn of events. After Hyunjin had told him Minho might have been gay, he had held onto his resolve to remain genuine friends with Minho. No judgment, no prying. He had thought their friendship, which he treasured, would have simply carried on. 

Granted, when Jisung had met Minho for the first time after that, he had had unexpected qualms. At that time, he had suddenly become aware of everything Minho had been doing for him. His attention, consideration, smile, touch - Jisung, for a moment, had felt the need to be extra vigilant. He had quickly recollected himself afterwards, realizing that their friendship should be stronger regardless of their sexual preferences.

But then came the confession. And the world as Jisung knew seemed to crumble. 

Minho having romantic feelings for him? Had he always been close with Jisung solely due to his affection? Why had he felt the need to lay it out on the table, anyway? Had he unconsciously led him on? Jisung had pondered every angle of perspectives he could come up with. Obviously, he would not get definitive answers unless he dared to ask the person himself. While that was not the only reason, Jisung ended up exhausting every bits of courage contained within him to tell Minho he wanted to visit his house.

Now, the brunette was on the train, on his way to Minho's house, standing anxiously. The closer he got to his destination, the more it sank in that he was really going to meet Minho. Their encounter in Accounting class had been difficult enough, he could not imagine what would happen later. He wished that they could get to talk, civilly and calmly, about how they should treat each other from now on.

***

Jisung had reached Minho's apartment door. Inhaling a deep breath, he swallowed back his fears and proceeded to knock on the door. Three knocks. No response. So, another three knocks, louder this time. He finally heard something from inside. The door swung open not long afterwards, revealing Minho clad in a long-sleeved sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants.

"Oh, you're here! Come in!" he exclaimed. His voice was unusually shrill, causing Jisung to raise an eyebrow. Jisung stepped into the entryway slowly and Minho closed the door behind him. Minho was smiling widely. Too wide.

"Wait, are you high?!"

"Me? No!"

His answer was hard to accept considering how Minho seemed. His face was a faint shade of red and he kept giggling. He walked funnily as well, faltered, his sense of balance was clearly compromised. Jisung looked around the room and spotted three empty bottles of soju on the floor. He sighed. Hypothesis confirmed, he grunted. So much wishing for a civil talk. Although Jisung had indeed said they would drink to celebrate.

Albeit being there for the first time, Jisung had no other choice but to navigate around on his own. He opened all the drawers in the kitchen in an attempt to find one non-ceramic mug, which would minimize the risk of breaking, and filled it with tap water. He brought it to Minho who had been sitting cross-legged on the floor, his back rested against the queen-sized bed.

"Here," Jisung softly said as he tried to make Minho hold the mug. Instead, Minho's hand held Jisung's, catching him by surprise. The mug fell and the spilled water wet the dark brown carpet laid out covering a quarter of the room's floor space. Minho did not stop there. Completely unfazed by the spilled water incident, he went on and draped his arms around Jisung, letting his body weight fall forward. All that happened a bit too fast for Jisung to fully comprehend. The next moment his awareness returned, Minho was already snuggling into his chest.

Minho started rambling. Slightly slurred. "I've always wanted to do this, you know. I've always wanted to touch you. I don't know why you're even here. Perhaps this is just a dream."

At their current position, Jisung could not see Minho's face clearly, it was as if Minho's emotions had diffused into him. They felt heavy. He was starting to see why Minho would think he needed alcohol in his system. Without the intoxication, he might not be able to say anything, or react to anything. He might only be able to sit in silence, dwelling in his internal bubble. Facing Jisung one on one in an enclosed space was sure to be an arduous undertaking for Minho. 

Minho's embrace tightened and Jisung let out an involuntary groan in response. 

"Why are you here?" Minho's voice was weak, defeated. Could he be crying? His hands held onto Jisung's t-shirt so strongly Jisung was worried it might rip. He buried his face deeper, as if it was possible, as if making sure that Jisung was real and not merely his delusion. "I've been trying to forget you."

The words stung. For some reason, they stung for Jisung. Apparently, hoping that they could remain good friends was too much to ask for. Of course, Minho would have wanted to cut ties with him. Why would he want otherwise? Why would Minho care that Jisung did not fancy the idea one bit?

Minho haltingly let go of Jisung, now sitting on his own. His shoulders slouched, his desperation glaring. His eyes were most obviously teary. Jisung felt another twinge inside him. This was not what he had had in mind when he had decided to visit. He had never imagined this side of Minho, defenseless and somber.

"I-I'm sorry," Jisung blurted, unable to come up with anything else to say.

Minho lifted his head and giggled out of nowhere. Was it the effect of the alcohol or the awkward tension? "Bye, bye," he muttered in between his continuous low-pitched laughter. He gestured at the front door, signaling Jisung to leave.

"No, I wanna stay." It took everything out of Jisung to properly say that. He wanted to stay. He could not possibly leave him behind when he knew Minho was hurting. Although Jisung was painfully aware he was the cause of it all.

"...don't get my hopes up."

Jisung felt as if it was the first time he ever looked at Minho thoroughly. His normally complacent face was now child-like, full of vulnerable hopes. His puffy eyes held a mysterious sparkle. His plump lips were slightly ajar. He had high cheek bones and sharp jaws. His hands were small. His stature was not big but his body was firm. Not fully registering what was happening, Jisung said in a whisper, "If it's you."

A single tear rolled on Minho's face. He leaned in closer and cupped Jisung's face with both hands, which were trembling and cold to the touch. Jisung flinched, but remained in place. 

"This is your last chance to escape."

Jisung sensed the urgency of the moment and could no longer remain impassive. His throat felt dry, itchy, like something thorny was stuck inside. The world started spinning, his head felt like it was expanding and the ground sinking. Where had his limbs gone? He could not tell. He was ensnared. He did not know what to do. He did not even know what he was truly feeling.

However, he could not voice it out. Inviting himself over, insisting that he wanted to stay, Jisung recognized how he had been coming across. If he took this chance to leave, that would be it between Minho and Jisung. Over. No more. And that was the last thing Jisung would want.

He examined Minho's face once more and noticed the dark gleam residing in his black eyes. The signs had been there. If Jisung had been more observant, he might have caught onto the signs earlier. Minho had brought Jisung a lot of joy, he had always provided a space for Jisung to feel secure and content without needing the appreciation. Conversely, Jisung had wanted to support Minho and remain by his side. But was that enough? Was that a sufficient answer?

"Why don't you close your eyes?" Minho said. His sudden snicker that followed indicated that he had not yet sobered up.

Perhaps Jisung should have known better not to abide by a drunken man's words. But he did.

Minho steadily advanced forward, their faces were mere inches away. They could feel each other breathe. Jisung's face started to burn from the intense anticipation. He did not have to wait long until their lips finally touched. Minho had planted his kiss very softly, treading along the miniscule creases of Jisung's lips carefully. Upon the lack of reaction from Jisung, Minho quickly opened his eyes and pulled himself away.

He was extremely grateful that Jisung even let him have the kiss, but also positively ready to be loathed afterwards.

Jisung's eyes were half-open, gazing downwards. His face and ears were visibly red, arguably redder than the half-drunk Minho. His head had gone blank post-kiss. Various thoughts, doubts, that had been swirling more than he could ever process had vanished. The sensation of when he joined lips with Minho was too overwhelming, pushing away his rationality. Kissing Minho felt great. 

Jisung's hand reached for Minho's and he lifted his gaze, meeting the other's. His eyes reflected his broadening horizon, his newly found craving. They transmitted some kind of unmistakably seductive charm. Instantly bewitched, Minho aggressively pulled Jisung into his arms. Jisung placed one hand on Minho's nape and another on his shoulder blade. Their lips crashed against each other once more. As if hungry for more taste of Jisung, Minho started to force his tongue in. Jisung let out muffled sounds as he allowed him in. Their tongues battled for dominance as their chests heaved in a broken rhythm. They both began losing their senses, solely focused on where their bodies were connected. Jisung began caressing Minho's neck softly, which fueled their desires further. Minho slipped his hands underneath Jisung's t-shirt, tracing the shape of his back arch, up and down. Oh, it felt right. It felt like everything had fallen into place, finally. Like this was how it was meant to be, since the very first time Jisung greeted Minho in the crowded lecture theatre. 

The exploration did not stop there. Minho continued to rub his hand against Jisung's skin. He pulled his mouth away from Jisung's and relished the sight of rose-colored Jisung looking at him like he hated that they were stopping. Minho directed his next kiss on Jisung's neck, and Jisung moaned softly as he felt his skin being sucked. It was wet from saliva and hot from breath, and it was the sexiest Jisung had ever felt in his whole life. Minho's lips traveled along Jisung's collarbone, sending an electric wave throughout Jisung's body. At the same time, Minho's hand reached Jisung's hip, dawdling on top of his undergarment and was en route further down, when Jisung suddenly jerked backwards and yelped.

Minho quickly let him go, both his hands up in the air. "S-sorry," he said, eyes widened, afraid that he had unknowingly mistreated Jisung.

"N-no, I was just..." Jisung hurriedly tightened his arms around Minho, not giving him an opportunity to feel rejected. "I was just taken by surprise."

The sudden hug was surprising, but also comforting. Minho could see that Jisung was being protective. Minho then wrapped his arms around Jisung's body gently while asking him, "Are you really, really sure about... this?"

This question might be the very last chance for Jisung to run away, but at this moment Jisung no longer had such concerns. He answered immediately, assuredly, "Yeah. I'm sure about you." The plethora of emotions Jisung had just experienced were all delightful. This could only mean he was in love, right? There was no more need to hesitate. He was sure he wanted to be with Minho. He wanted him. "I'm sorry for what I said last time, I-"

Minho cut him mid-sentence by planting a quick kiss on his lips. "Stop talking. My head is pounding."

Jisung chuckled. "The hungover is kicking in early? You old man."

Minho pinched Jisung's cheek unforgivingly hearing that. Jisung laughed louder for a second but begged for forgiveness the next, incapable of enduring the pain. Minho smiled, definitely the sweetest smile Jisung had ever seen, and proceeded to give him one more peck. That last kiss was brief, devoid of lust, but it was probably the most impressive to Jisung. Although slumped and messy-looking, Minho appeared so bright, so dazzling. Was this what people mean by love is blind?

"Wait, but seriously, I'm not feeling great right now," said Minho as he closed his eyes and rested his head on the edge of the bed. It snapped Jisung back to reality.

"Oh God, you need to rest." Jisung promptly stood up, fixing the t-shirt that had been rolled up to his rib. "I will come check up on you tomorrow morning. Make sure you sleep as soon as possible."

"You're not staying over?" Minho asked while Jisung was helping him lay on the bed. He wore the classic puppy-eye look when he said that.

"I can't. Next time, okay?" said Jisung as he carefully laid out a grey, knitted blanket on top of Minho.

"Okay." Minho sounded uncharacteristically submissive that Jisung's heart almost melted. He squeezed Jisung's hand, threw a radiant smile at him, and gifted him a kiss on the back of his hand. "Good night, princess." Well, now, Jisung's heart had melted.

"I-I'm not a princess!" 

"Okay, then, I'll be the princess. Give me a good night kiss, please."

Jisung wanted to protest when Minho started laughing at him. However, Minho was staring at him with anxious eyes, and Jisung did not want to shatter his expectation. Thus, Jisung kissed him on the forehead, patted his head, and bade him good night. Minho went quiet eventually, settling under the blanket. Jisung turned off the lights and made his way out. He took a final glance at Minho to ensure he was asleep before closing the door discreetly.

The night sky had fallen, the quarter moon was out. Stepping out of Minho's apartment, Jisung felt like he had returned to reality. Everything that had happened felt surreal, like they occurred in an another dimension. An alternate universe. Yet, Jisung could still feel Minho's soft lips on his. The way he touched him was intensely imprinted, and his body grew hot simply from remembering. 

Among the euphoria and glee, however, there also existed gut-churning sensations, which were probably rooted from the fact that things had progressed significantly further within a very short time frame. Everything was foreign, new, and inexplicable. Knowing that he remained barely strong enough to stand on his two feet now was a feat on its own.

He began to waddle. Jisung knew, by instinct and by logic, that he was very important to Minho. His green light for whatever kind of relationship that was starting between them was definitely very important to Minho. Jisung would never want to damage the hard-earned trust, and so he vowed to take especially good care of Minho. Minho might not believe him straightaway, which only meant that Jisung needed to put more effort convincing him. 

But then Jisung stopped in his track.

How about Minho's ex-boyfriend? The guy who was spotted together with Minho.

Wouldn't that mean Jisung was not Minho's first, as opposed to what Jisung had been mentally noting?

The fire of jealousy began to light in Jisung. In his head, he knew this was objectively not a big deal, but he could not stand the idea of not knowing Minho's past. He had repeatedly, proudly professed his fondness towards Minho, without actually understanding enough about the person. He wanted to know. He needed to know. He made up his mind as his fingers curled into fists. On the brighter side, the intensity contributed extra strength that allowed Jisung to strut effortlessly the rest of the way to the train station. 

This evening had felt unthinkably long, but also nice. Before entering the station, Jisung lookoed up to the starless blue sky one last time and muttered to himself, "Yeah, it was nice."

_(To be continued.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got to finishing chapter 3!!! My friend who used to proofread for me is no longer able to so I'll be back to doing my own proofreading... please bear with me haha. This chapter is shorter, I'm gonna aim around ~3k for the next chapters as well. Gonna take more time writing each chapter too, sorry I apparently cannot fulfill my weekly update promise :( Nonetheless I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever kpop idols fanfiction!! I was really overcoming a hurdle to finally write this. I'm currently planning for a total of 5 chapters, which I aim to update weekly... in ideal case... or biweekly when I'm more swamped at work. If you're reading until here, I'd like to thank you so so much. I hope you will enjoy this story <3 UPDATE: Not gonna be able to give weekly/biweekly updates!! Will try to post once a month at least ><


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